I should probably try to correct this. I can, but I won’t. Thank you very much!
1. Your Perfume/Cologne Habit Has Gone Haywire:
I know I should be using it behind my ears, my wrist, and all those other places that only allow for a little spritz, but I do not feel right unless the scent covers my whole entire body and everyone smells it. Hey, you should be grateful, its better than smelling bad.
2. Buying Unnecessary Items at The Grocery Store:
I will not apologize for this! That $20 smoked salmon and random jar of what is it called was calling to me. I will figure out how to use all of the food when I fully process how much of my paycheck went to salmon.
3. Being Rude To At Least One Person Everyday:
You may not notice when you do this, but you do. It could be that look that you gave that lady from across the subway platform. Maybe you did not say thank you when the barista gave you your coffee. Either way you’re a bitch, but its not really the time to correct all that every single time!
4. Leaving Dirty Clothes Anywhere But in Your Hamper:
When I get home from work, my clothes just come off wherever I am standing and fall wherever I fling them. Those sweatpants have been calling my name all day. I see the dirty shirt on the floor, but I think I will revisit that in about a week.
5. Making An Excuse to Get Out of Going Out:
Sometimes, the cure for the weekend blues in Netflix. Why would I want to get out of my sweatpants when there is no one to judge me when I am at home? You may want to hangout with me, but I want to hangout with my friends Ben & Jerry.
6. Leaving The Garbage for Someone Else to Take Out:
I took it out last time! Ok no I didn’t, but you are better taking out the garbage. You are great, thanks for helping me out, love you, bye!
7. Having Way Too Many Drinks:
I say this every time. “Oh thank you, but I am not really drinking today.” “I will only have two drinks.” “I am not looking to get drunk.” You might not bee seeking to get drunk, but you will. Its ok though because there are only so many times when that behavior is still considered appropriate. Use all of your finite instances wisely!
8. Telling Your Boss You Are Sick When You Aren’t:
Listen, I just need this one day to finish this season of Scandal. If you let this happen, my life will be complete. Consider my well-being as well as the well-being of Olivia Pope in you decision to fire me.
9. Buying Clothing You May Never Wear Just Because It Is On Sale:
Umm, I’m pretty sure there is only one Macy’s One Day Sale. If I do not get this during the sale, I won’t have something to fill that extra hanger in my closet. Let me at least pretend I have style!
10. Social Media Stalking Someone:
How else am I supposed to know that the girl that I went to High School with had a baby? I have nothing going on in my life I need to talk about something!
Let's Do Our Own Thing 